Work, Family, Scene: You Can Only Pick Two - RyanHoliday.net
When I first moved to Austin in 2013, I went out to lunch—fittingly—with a writer named Austin Kleon. I was a longtime fan of his book Steal Like an Artist (his book Keep Going is a new favorite). After we ate, he drove me around the city, showing me things and giving me advice. Austin was a little older than me and was already married with kids. I remember asking him how he made time for it all. “I don’t,” he told me. “The artist’s life is about tradeoffs.” And then he gave me a little rule that has stuck with me always: Work, family, scene. Pick two. Work—that is your creative output. Family—that’s a spouse, kids, or any close personal relationships. Scene—that’s the fun stuff that comes along with success. Parties. Fancy dinners. Important friends. This is the stuff that looks good on Instagram, that you can brag about, that falls into your lap like a wonderful surprise. Offers, invitations, perks. It’d be wonderful if you could have it all…but you can’t. You can party it up and hang onto a relationship but you won’t have much time left for work. You can grind away at your craft, be the toast of the scene, but what will that leave for your family? Almost certainly it means they will be home, alone. If you’re as committed to the work as you are to a happy home, you can keep both but you will have no room for anything else—certainly late nights or hangovers or exotic trips. And if you try to have it all? Well, you won’t get any of it. I emailed Austin about this all recently and he pointed me to a poem by Kenneth Koch from the New Yorker that had inspired it for him. It had a great verse in it: There isn’t time enough, my friends— Though dawn begins, yet midnight ends- To find the time to have love, work and friends. Pick two. I know you think you’re the exception, but you’re not. I wasn’t. I can tell you that from experience. I tried all the different variations. I’ve traveled too much…and family and work suffered. I’ve worked too much and family and connections have suffered. I’ve tried to cram it all in and ended up a burned out mess, as I wrote in the epilogue to Ego is the Enemy. Eventually, you come face to face with that hard choice of that epigram and choose your priorities. That’s just how it goes. In the years since that conversation with Austin, I’ve been very productive. I’ve written about a dozen books. I’ve sent out an email and a podcast episode every day for both Daily Stoic and Daily Dad. I’ve filmed over 250 videos for the Daily Stoic YouTube channel. I’ve read and recommended hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of books to my Reading List Email and then opened a bookstore. I’ve also gotten married, had two kids, had wonderful moments with my family. I have not been to very many parties. I’ve said no to a lot of stuff. As I wrote recently, I’ve passed on everything from trips to the Super Bowl, a vacation on Necker Island, and more than a few different ghostwriting opportunities. A younger me would have thought these things crazy to pass up on. But that’s exactly what I did. I said no. I say no a lot. Not just to the big things but little things. Coffee, hangouts, a couple of us are going to dinner, group texts… People who know me, especially lately, find it hard to make plans with me. I’m not a jerk about it, but you can usually count on me to count myself out. A few years ago, Dr. Jonathan Fader, an elite sports psychologist who spent nearly a decade with the New York Mets, gave me a picture of Oliver Sacks in his office. Behind Sacks, who is speaking on the phone, is a large sign that just says, “NO!” I have that photo hanging on the wall in my office now. On either side of it, hang pictures of each of my sons. I can see them—all three photos—out of the corner of my eye even as I am writing this. It’s a sort of embodiment of the options Austin Kleon had laid out. I’m working. I have my two kids and my wife. I’m tapped out. Does that mean I miss out on stuff? Really cool stuff, in some cases? Sure, I guess. But the person who tries to have it all will always end up with very little. Certainly very little of anything lasting or meaningful. The memory of the warm sun from a long weekend on Necker Island won’t last nearly as long nor sink nearly as deep as the hugs I get from my boys each morning. There’s no one I could meet at a party who, in the end, I’d want to spend more time with than my wife. Moving amongst tens of thousands of people during the super exclusive festivities of Super Bowl Week comes with its own kind of invigorating energy, but it pales in comparison to the inspiration and motivation I get from the emails and messages (both positive and negative) sent by the readers of my books. Inspiration and motivation that help bring the next book into being, and the book after that. Life is about tradeoffs. When we know what to say no to, and we know why, we can say yes with comfort and confidence to the things that matter. To the things that last. Work, family, scene. You can have two if you say no to one. If you can’t, you’ll have none. P.S. Thank you to everyone who has supported my newest book, Courage is Calling: Fortune Favors the Brave. If you haven’t yet picked up a copy or if there is someone in your life who would benefit from it, you can get signed copies [...]
Introducing Shortcuts Playground: Create Apple Shortcuts with Claude Code or Codex
Today, I’m pleased to introduce something I’ve been working on for the past six months: Shortcuts Playground, a plugin for Claude Code and Codex that can create any shortcut for Apple’s Shortcuts app using natural language. With Shortcuts Playground, you can simply prompt Claude Code or Codex with a sentence requesting a shortcut of any
X 上的 Peter Yang:“The best AI builders set up systems to help them ship faster. Here's @moritzkremb's system to create short videos that saves him 10 hours a week: 1. Cron jobs scrape ideas from X and YouTube 2. AI generates rough notes for the script 3. Moritz then iterates with AI on the notes https://t.co/917VGoaawE” / X
Here's @moritzkremb's system to create short videos that saves him 10 hours a week:
1. Cron jobs scrape ideas from X and YouTube
2. AI generates rough notes for the script
3. Moritz then iterates with AI on the notes
“I wound up writing after a certain point, simply because it’s the cheapest art form. People will give you a paper and pen. You don’t need to be in a specific place, and you don’t need a lot of roo…
Browser Rendering is now Browser Run, with Live View, Human in the Loop, CDP access, session recordings, and 4x higher concurrency limits for AI agents
If you ever needed an example of the increasing importance of personal brands in the AI era, I’ve got a whopper.
Over the past few months, I’ve noticed something that construction professionals and jewelry makers on Etsy have in common: they’re always looking out for better ways
Sketchplanations - Simplifying complex ideas in sketches
I love this age-old wisdom. It may be about the gold rush, but I see it everywhere to this day. When everyone is trying to get rich in the sensational way, the people who reliably do well are those who sell to the people trying to get rich. In the gold rush, prospectors and miners seeking their fortunes headed up to the hills to find gold. A few of them found it. But, like all get-rich-quick schemes, the vast majority of them found no gold claims that made their fortune. Whether they got lucky or not, they needed tools—shovels, picks, buckets, pans. They also might have purchased mules, food, lodging, supplies, guidance, and maybe they bought whiskey to drown their sorrows. Famously, they might have needed hardwearing work clothes, of which denim was the perfect solution. And the interesting thing about all the people who sold to the prospectors is that they could make money whether their customers found gold or not. They can sell to the people winning and the people losing. The saying has at least a few different forms: The secret to getting rich in a gold rush is selling picks. When Everybody Is Digging for Gold, It’s Good To Be in the Pick and Shovel Business Don’t dig for gold, sell shovels. Some Modern Examples Selling shovels in the gold rush is the classic example, but modern-day examples abound. It often looks like selling access, tools, platforms or advice to people chasing a quick buck. Investment brokers and platforms that charge for trading.
Brokers and platforms make a profit when the market dives and when it soars. The more activity there is, the better they do. Exchanges and marketplaces.
Where the trading happens, whether it’s stocks and shares, second-hand goods, or vintage furniture. Tooling and platforms.
YouTube, AWS, Domain providers profit the more people try to seek their fortune. “How to make money doing X” courses and education.
Looking to make money doing X? Buy the course, and you’ll get the exact steps to replicate the winning strategies. Earn on YouTube. Monetise your newsletter. Publish your book. And some slightly more oblique examples: Transformation industries.
Gyms and supplements sell the promise of transformation, regardless of whether people achieve their goals. Self-help and productivity.
Just implement this new productivity tip, and you’ll transform your prospects. In each case, millions of people purchase without achieving the ends they were hoping for. But the shovel-sellers do well either way. A Simple Formula It’s seductive because, in classic survivorship bias, we see the people who’ve made it: the YouTubers with millions of followers, the crypto early adopters who didn’t sell in a crash, the property flippers who bought at the right place and time. But sometimes the people doing best seem to be those promising to teach you how to get rich that way In most of these cases there’s: A new way of making money High-visibility successes A self-reinforcing loop: the more people follow or buy your course, program, or product promising success, the more successful you look, and the more legitimate your service seems. Try Selling Shovels I share this because I regularly reflect on it as a lens for my own activity. Am I trying to follow the herd and the gold rush? Maybe I would be better off helping others in their journey for gold? How could I support them instead of rushing myself? It’s tempting to imagine yourself as one of the winners of the gold rush. But all that activity creates opportunities to support the prospectors. Selling shovels means your future is less dependent on being lucky, early, or exceptional and hitting a gold seam. Or maybe I'm just jealous ;o) -- As usual, if you’re looking for the origins of the phrase selling shovels in a gold rush, Quote Investigator has done the work for you. Related Ideas to Selling Shovels in a Gold Rush More business and entrepreneurship advice and ideas in sketches: Sell painkillers, not vitamins To scale, do things that don’t scale Starting a company is like jumping off a cliff The Butcher, the Brewer, the Baker The twin engines of altruism and ambition Don’t ask the barber if you need a haircut The Big Ideal TM The Golden Circle—People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it Survivorship Bias Optimism Bias Contentment: what you have, relative to what you want
CLI agents like Claude Code make self-hosting dramatically easier and actually fun. This is the first time I would recommend it to normal software-literate people.